Trust is the foundation and cornerstone of every relationship. Trusting another person means that you believe that they have your best interest at heart and that they would not intentionally do something to hurt you. When you are developing new relationships at work or with clients that you serve, you have no reason to automatically trust that person, trust must be earned over time. A student learns to trust a teacher or coach based on their actions. If they keep their word and treat you as you would like to be treated, then the trust begins to develop.
We all understand that we must gain our persons trust in the beginning of a relationship but what we often miss is the fact that trust must also be “maintained” in a relationship. One of the quickest things to erode and tear apart a relationship is a lack of trust. You can love someone but not trust them. Sometimes there is a lack of trust in a relationship because of the actions of one person or both people. Perhaps there have been numerous times when a colleague or family member has not kept his/her word or followed through with a promise. There can also be a lack of trust in a relationship due to issues with past relationships. Whatever the reason may be, I suggest using the following five ways to deepen the level of trust in any relationship:
- Confidentiality is key – In my life coaching practice, this is one of the most common issues that causes problems between people. Sharing information that someone tells you in confidence with your family or friends can be a sure fire way to destroy the trust in a relationship. Be careful about what information you choose to share with others.
- Follow through with the little things – Sometimes we get into the habit of breaking what we call “little promises.” We promised to come home early on Fridays to spend time with our family, but we are often late. We promise to work together on better eating habits, but we keep bringing home fast food. Often there are lots of little unfulfilled promises that cause a lack of trust to develop.
- Ditch the technology – In today’s world we spend more time than we realize communicating through technology. It has gotten to the point where we will text and call each other while in the same house! Nothing should replace face to face communication…it’s priceless.
- Actions speak louder than words – the best way to apologize for anything that you have done is by changing your actions. Don’t just tell, show people that you will not repeat past mistakes or negative behavior.
- Practice Forgiveness – As your relationships grow over time, there will inevitably be a time when you or your friends and family members will say or do something that causes hurt. Learning to forgive others and yourself is a critical part of deepening the trust in any relationship.
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